do you believe in magic?

a good friend of mine introduced me to this dude Rob Brezny while we were in college. i signed up for his weekly horoscope, "free will astrology," years and years ago and it kind of never ceases to amaze me. it's usually cheesy and a little ridiculous, but eerily spot on at times and just a general feel good thing to have in my inbox.

this week's message instructed me to meditate on some questions. since i am incapable of meditating (i even took a class and failed) i decided i'd just write about them here.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22): There's a better than even chance that you're about to embark on a Summer of Love. To improve your odds even more, meditate on the following questions. 1. What qualities do you look for in a lover that you would benefit from developing more fully in yourself? 2. What do you think are your two biggest delusions about the way love works? 3. Is there anything you can do to make yourself more lovable? 4. Is there anything you can do to be more loving? 5. Are you willing to deal with the fact that any intimate relationship worth pursuing will inevitably evoke the most negative aspects of both partners -- and require both partners to heal their oldest wounds?

1. probably too many to list out. let's start with patience. i tend to expect the people i love to be infinitely patient with me. i am so impatient. i feel like i'm waiting for things constantly. i also look for people who are easygoing. i'm irritable and picky.

2. delusion one: i think compromise is unnecessary because people who are in love should just automatically agree on most things. delusion two: i equate showy gestures with expressions of love.

3. stop nagging. be happy.

4. don't be short (in words, not height). be more engaged in conversation.

5. that's a tall order, rob. but true. i've put a fair amount of effort (neosporin, if you will) into getting over those old wounds but some things linger. and i want to slap myself when i let things that happened to me in old relationships affect the way i act now. see # 1 for negative aspects. i think when you're in love it's really easy to get lazy and fall into a complacent, semi-comatose state where you don't pay attention to the things you say or how they affect the other person. i haven't exactly figured out how to fix that but i suspect it's not in Regular Date Nights or other things the stuffwhitepeoplelike blog describes. hopefully a future email horoscope will assist me in figuring it out, or barack & michelle will start an advice column post-presidency.