my mother always says: it takes all kinds to make the world go round.

you know those people who lead charmed lives? the kind who leave their expensive cell phone in a cab and get contacted by the person who has courteously picked it up that same day? the kind who get the first job they apply for after college? the kind who look good in skinny jeans? the kind who have never repaired their glasses with scotch tape?

i am not that kind of person.

i am the kind of person who walks into glass doors in front of dozens of strangers. the kind of person who orders her boyfriend DVDs on the internet only to have them arrive as shitty pirated copies from china. the kind of person who tips her bike over in the middle of a (thankfully deserted) intersection after telling the bartender she does NOT NEED ANY WATER, no sirree bob.

when i was in third grade, my darling grandmother peggy, who i love love and passed away when i was 14, took me to her hairdresser because i DESPERATELY NEEDED a spiral perm. her hairdresser was named roxy (rest in peace, roxy, seriously i bet you have a hair salon in heaven) and worked out of an addition on her home in tyngsboro, ma where my mom grew up and my parents live now. roxy proceeded to cut off my long blond hair, give me a mullet and perm it, and i was horrified and cried and didn't go to school for three days. i will never forget roxy asking me if she could cut off a foot of my hair and peggy saying "it will grow back, jamie." WORDS TO LIVE BY right there (not even joking). i know i already wrote a post about why my dad is a good person, but the second reason why is that when i got home post-massacred perm hair, he said "oh look! it's miss america!" in a totally honest sounding way, while inside i'm sure he was thinking "oh dear god, my 10 year old daughter looks exactly like my 60 year old mother in law." i finally went back to school wearing a white bandana with a flourescent-paint-splatter print on it and bobby montgomery (who i may be friends with on facebook?) pointed and laughed at me and i wanted to die.

i am that kind of person.